She came into my life like ZOT!
by Deleth
Summary: A girl with indigo hair landed in my shower in a flash of light, can use magic and claims that she is, or was, a pony...and says I'm the crazy one. I promise, I'm not. Though her elitist little mannerisms might just drive me to kill her, we'll see if we can get her back to her home before that happens. (standard non ownership disclaimers apply) (reverse HIE)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **First time I've tried 1st person POV, be kind.

**Chapter 1: The day ZOT happened**

I stood in the entryway of my old farmhouse looking around at the warm décor that greeted me in the living room. A couch and love seat pair sat perpendicular to each other against the walls with a coffee table between them, looking warm and plush to the touch, just like they had three years ago. The coffee table remained in the same place as it had three years ago, but the magazines and books on it were different. As I latched the deadbolt and kicked off my work boots – she always hated it when I got 'work' on the carpet – I was greeted with three photos that I had left up after it happened.

I stopped for a moment to look at the pictures protected by those mismatched, but very tough frames, thinking about my girls. My angels. The largest one was a picture me, Emy, and our daughter Olivia sitting on the pegs of the farthest fence, watching a thunderstorm in the distance. It was a candid shot taken by my cousin all those years ago and that's partly why I liked it so much, the other part was I could make out the impressions from my wife's writing through the photo paper, knowing what it said even backwards. _Asher, Olivia, and Me. Best summer ever! July, 2009._ But that was only months before they got in the car and…

I shuddered and walked deeper into the house. She wouldn't want me to dwell on their loss and with a promise to god I hadn't. Speaking of cold winter days, the clock read that it was barely eleven in the morning by the time I had finished what little winter maintenance needed done on the farm and fed the animals.

Three years ago it would have taken longer but after the accident I cut the production of the farm in half so I could keep up with it on my own, I don't want help, I don't need help, and as sure as hell is hot I don't want strangers on my farm whether they speak English or not. Which was exactly why I had sold the back half of my land to my closest neighbor – still four miles away – to cut my property into a more manageable size.

After the accident I had cleared all the pictures but my three favorites of what used to be my family from the walls, but couldn't bring myself to change the layout of the furniture, even it if was a weird setup for one person. Call me reactionary or emo or whatever, I don't care. It was how I dealt with it and it's worked so far so that's good enough for me. Like I said before, my wife would have wanted me to carry on without her and that's what I'm gonna do.

But today is the anniversary of it happening. The anniversary of losing my wife and daughter and I'd be lying if I said that it didn't still hurt, even three years later. But it'll okay. Least that's what I tell myself. Besides, work helps keep a man going.

If idle hands are the devil's playground than my hands look like a inhospitable wasteland to that son of a gun. There's plenty to do around the farm and even on slow days like today, there's still errands to run, food to buy, friends to visit and so on. Worst case scenario I would spend the rest of the day trolling around the internet or playing a game. But first things first, I'd been slogging along since five AM in the freezing cold and a hot shower was calling my name, followed closely by my queen size bed.

But naps could wait because all the muck and frozen grime needed to be melted away before I'd be able to relax enough to think about napping. Food was also in order at some point but that also, could wait until the shower was done.

I turned on the shower first because the hot water tank was on the opposite end of the house and took a while to warm up in the winter, then the exhaust fan and by the time I had stripped off my work clothes and conducted an important meeting on the porcelain throne, the shower was beginning to fill the room with comforting steam and was hot enough to get in. There was a chill against my skin momentarily until my body got used to the high temperature of the water. I liked it that way after a day's work even when it was hot outside. It was good for the muscles.

After washing my body and hair I grabbed a safety razor and did a quick touch up of my stubble so I wouldn't look as my wife used to put it, "Curmuffinie", I finally let myself relax and think about what today really was. Were I being honest with myself I was thinking about my angels all day and heck, I would have stayed in bed and moped all day were it not for the chores that always needed done. But I liked it that way – my father said that hard work was a way to keep a man honest before he died and that was something I never believed until I had finished college, and had a child of my own.

I sighed and vainly changed my thought process again. It seemed I was stuck on a loop where no matter what I was thinking about it would eventually circle back to…there it is again. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to focus on anything else.

Dealing with a tragedy sucks, for the record.

But just when I was about ready to give in and be depressed for the rest of the day I felt a sudden chill along my legs and torso, actually my whole body felt a chill as if a wind had picked up in the combination shower stall. I opened my eyes expecting the badly installed glass door had swung open again, but found it secure. More alarmingly, there was a small light floating about as high as my chin with no discernible source. Like a little pinpick in the universe, floating in my shower.

My brain immediately registered that having a pinprick in the universe so close to one's self, may not be the best place to be should it…not be a pinprick? Mind racing grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself – shoot the water was still on – I turned off the water but not before soaking my towel noting that the pinprick was indeed growing at an alarming rate and opened the shower door to step out. Correction, ran into the shower wall because the door was being what was now a creature shaped blob of light floating in my shower.

The wind picking up again that water and mist were blowing everywhere as the light grew and refined in shape from whatever creature it may have been before into something that appeared to have legs, and arms before it became too bright to look at. Little static discharges sparked at random as the light grew brighter until finally…

_ZOT!_

If I had to describe it, the flash sounded like an electrical transformer blowing up – with the part of 'blowing up' being played by the plate glass that used to line my shower – I would be more concerned with how I was going to exit the bathroom in only a sopping wet towel and my bare feet but as before, there was something that was demanding my immediate attention instead. Namely, the screaming girl with purple hair, in a white dress who was now standing where the light once was. I stared slack jawed at her several seconds before my mind caught up with me. Unfortunately for me it appeared her mind caught up with her first.

"Back you hairy beast!" She shouted and for the second time in so many minutes something magical happened as a light blue aura lifted me from the ground, flipped me around, and pinned me to the bathroom ceiling by the chest.

There are many things a man can say in this situation, but for whatever reason the only thing my brain could muster was:

"Hey! I am not that hairy!"

"Your back hair disagrees." The woman retorted.

"_You're_ the one who suddenly appeared in_my_ shower – I was just trying to relax!"

"Oh _suuuuuuuure._ I bet you use that line all the time to lure hapless ponies to their doom, well I am not that kind of mare, you beast." She said, and I had to blink a moment to process just _what_ she said.

"I'm sorry, what?!" I asked, the situation was quickly becoming more frustrating as I still couldn't move against the shower ceiling. But the woman continued to talk about things that were increasingly nonsensical.

"Now I don't know where you took me but I know I can find my way back to Ponyville without you. And you better believe the Princess will hear about this, though maybe I should have her keep it confidential. Oh goodness, I would hate to think what might happen to my reputation if it came out that I was in the shower with…with…with whatever foul creature_ you_ are. So if you don't mind, I bid you _good day!_"

"Hey, last I saw we're the same speci—" I never finished my sentence as the magic that was holding me up suddenly disappeared dropping me flat onto the tiled, shower floor. As I struggled to regain the breath that had been knocked so rudely from my lungs I filed away a note to self: remodel shower with trampolines.

"Wait." I croaked and rolled to my knees, breathing easier and glanced towards the bathroom door.

The woman had somehow pushed all the broken glass into neat piles in the corners of the bathroom and was walking swiftly out the bathroom door by the time I had retied my wet towel about my waist.

"Wait!" I called again as I ran into the master bedroom, but I didn't have to go much farther.

The woman stood there staring at her reflection in the mirrored sliding closet doors, her pupils shrunk in as if she were looking at a ghost – she was pale enough maybe she was one – her hands were shaking as she felt her own cheeks and waist, her breathing irregular. She looked at my reflection in the mirror, eyes pleading for me to do something to alleviate the fear that was so obvious there, and were I not holding up my dignity with one hand when her eyes began to roll back in her head, I would have rushed forward to try and catch her when she fainted. As it was she simply landed on the carpet with a soft thud.

"Great." I said aloud.

Tying the towel off about my waist, I lifted the poor confused little thing from the floor and gently placed her on the bed. She was still breathing at least, that was good. Her frame was such I would have thought she was a lost and confused supermodel that had too much to drink the night before. Had I not seen her appear and pin me to my own ceiling I would have dropped her off at the police station and been done with it but now…well now I had to figure out exactly what I was going to do.

Well, how about nothing? She is unconscious after all and seems a little…not right…in the head. The best course of action here, I decided, would be to wait until she wakes up and address the issues from there.

With a course set I strode to my dresser and after grabbing jeans and a shirt I dressed in the bathroom – never know when she might wake after all – and my stomach rumbled at me, reminding me that it had been a while since I last ate. She seemed harmless enough aside from the whole ceiling bathroom floor glass incident. Okay maybe she was quite dangerous. But watching her sleep on the bed her indigo hair all askew, her white dress rumpled. It was hard to think strait really, she was quite pretty in a look-at-all-the-makeup kind of way. That or I hadn't been on a date in three years.

Lord, I'm pathetic.

She also appeared to be very afraid and was talking about things that didn't make sense before she fainted. Ponies? Ponyville? Okay then, princess. Come to think of it she mentioned one of those too.

So when my stomach rumbled again I left her sleeping on the bed while I made myself some lunch, took my time picking out a book to read, and made myself comfortable on the plush recliner by the window, opposite the bed. I didn't have much going on the rest of the day outside visiting my family's graves, and had been meaning to read this book anyways. So after taking a bite of the PB&J sandwich I had prepared, I began to read, intent on waiting her out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The weirdest conversation I've ever had**

Curve balls. In Major League Baseball this is a throw that can make or break your career as a pitcher, they are hard to throw correctly, and can be even harder to hit. Life can really throw a good curve ball, usually when you least expect it. Like a single date leading to marriage, a single drive to the grocery store ending in a tragedy, or a strange or crazy (or both) woman materializing in front of you while you're taking a shower.

Curve balls…

The current situation felt like more of a screwball than a curve ball. Had the woman not held me to my own ceiling with what appeared to be a force field, or magic, I wouldn't have believed it myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm a man of faith and always have been but seeing something like that happen outside of a book or a cartoon is just…well its crazy to be honest. But I've had a life full of all kinds of crazy that I never thought would happen so if anyone would be able to keep an open mind in this world, I think it'd be me. Not that I ever dreamed something like _this_ would happen to me.

Though I had finished my lunch, I long ago abandoned attempting to read while waiting for the fainted woman to wake. It had been almost an hour while I simply watched and puzzled over her in my head. Fortunately my patience paid off as she began to stir, her breathing changing slightly as her eyes opened once more. It was easy the fear and wonder in those blue orbs as she looked first at her surroundings, then at her own body. She even took the time to wiggle her fingers and toes.

"Dear Celestia, it wasn't a dream." She said breathlessly.

I wasn't sure if she noticed me in the corner of the room, with a book in my lap and an empty plate on the floor next to me. So far it was more fun to just observe her as she explored what was apparently a whole new world since waking up. At length her eyes finally made contact with mine noticing that I was, in fact, still in the home that I owned. Funny that. She looked me over, eyes narrowing somewhat. Making no attempt to hide the fact that she was appraising me, I'm a stranger to her just as she is to me after all, and it's only fair. Besides I would rather talk than face whatever magic she commanded again since I was woefully outgunned in that area.

I had a whole speech prepared to try and figure out just who or what she was or thought she was. I'd been working on it ever since I decided that I wouldn't be getting any reading done. I would start by asking her what her name was, and where she was from. Then, move on to how she held me to my own ceiling and how she appeared in my shower in the first place. Also, why my shower and not something more convenient, like my living room.

"What _are_ you wearing? And while I'm at it, what is this nonsense?" She exclaimed holding up part of her dress.

"Umm, clothes?" I responded, my whole plan had been thrown off by failing to account for the possibility of her speaking first. Good work, brain.

"_What?!_ You mean to tell me that your people drape these…_things_… over their bodies and call it clothes?!" She ranted, "How in the name of fashion could something like this happen? It covers up everything! Don't you want to be seen for what you are?"

At this exact moment that my ill-timed sense of humor decided to kick in.

"Well we did walk around naked for a while but then these pesky laws were enacted by someone who calls himself god or something and we were all embarrassed about being naked suddenly so…"

"I may be new to wherever, whenever, or whatever I am right now but that does not mean I will be taken for a fool _sir,_we ponies have our own moral standards." She interrupted me and sat up on the bed.

There's that word again.

"Alright, well morality aside you were the one who seemed to magically appear in _my_ shower." I retorted.

"Touché." She said at length, "But that still does not mean these clothes are not an embarrassment to fashion… or that I am easy." She added.

"Alright alright, well let's just say that you are, or were, a pony – actually let's back up even further – let's start out with something a little easier – Hi, what's your name?" I backtracked a bit, figuring if we could get onto some sort of friendly ground I could maybe figure out…well… something was better than what I knew now. Which was nothing.

She gave me a scathing glare in response before she actually spoke again.

"Rarity, my name is Rarity." She said. What an interesting name, unique but not weird. And yes I'm counting the kids who are named Apple in the basket of weird names in my mind.

"Nice to meet you, Rarity, I'm Asher Merediem." I said, "This is my home, though you probably had already guessed that."

Rarity smirked.

"Where are you from?"

"Not so fast, ape-beast-diamond-dog-thing-named-Asher." She pointed finger as if she were objecting to a witness

testimony in court, "It's my turn to ask a question."

"Alright." I agreed. If taking turns would get her to talk to me instead of use her magic, then take turns we would.

"Where are where? That is to say, what is this place?" She asked.

"Montana." I said, but that elected no form of recognition in her eyes.

"United States?" Still nothing.

"Earth?" nothing.

"The Milky Way?" She began to pout.

"Okay, where are you from?" I countered.

"I am from the Magical Kingdom of Equestria. It's a peaceful society of Earth ponies, Pegasai, and Unicorns …I'm a Unicorn. At least I was." She said thoughtfully, "What am I now?"

"Human."

"Is that some form of monster? I've never heard of such a thing." She sat up the rest of the way on the bed, swinging her feet off to one side.

"Well, to be fair I've never seen magic used one way or the other before you popped into my shower stall." I said, deadpanned.

"Yes erm…sorry about that. The whole thing is a giant mix up I'm sure." She stood now and took a few cautious steps forward.

"I will speak with my friend Twilight about that as soon as I see her again, I'm sure she can close whatever wild magic brought me here to ensure it does not happen again."

When she spoke it sounded as if she was from Europe to me rather than whatever an Equestria was, either that or one of those 'high society' type people that I had met on occasion when they tried to buy out my farm to build a sub-division or resort or some such, and I was leaning towards the latter.

"Could you please direct me to the nearest magical authority? I'm sure we can get this whole mess straightened out in a jiffy." She asked.

"Pardon?" Surely I misheard her somewhere.

"The nearest authority on magic, where might he or she be?" I watched her face when she asked it but I still could not believe how utterly serious her expression was. Oh my, I was going to have to break the poor girl's heart...

"Well, that may be difficult because—"

"Is it a long ways away?" She interrupted, again.

"It doesn't exist." I finished the thought, "We humans don't have magic, Rarity, I'd count it a small miracle that you can still use the magic that you have. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that you were a Unicorn – as you put it – but to me it's all just made up fairy tales for children. As far as I know, humans have never had access to magic."

There was a long pause as the unicorn turned woman looked at me, and as she did a smile began to form on her lips, which turned into a small titter, which turned into a giggle as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Come now, I know my sudden appearance was awkward, to say the least, but you can stop joking around now. I want to return to my home and my proper, fabulous, form. So if there is nothing else, I bid you good day."

With a haughty turn of her head Rarity walked from the master bedroom, and down the hall. I opened my mouth to say something but ended up just closing it again. I didn't need to say anything, she would figure it out. I propped one of my legs up on the other knee and opened my book, pretending to read what was written on the page while I was counting to seven in my head. I'm still not sure how I know it takes seven seconds to get from the master bedroom to the front door, probably one of the random things I did to keep myself sane after my girls were taken from me but that's okay. Random knowledge could be fun.

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

There it is.

I set my book down on the chair as I rose, picking up my plate so I could drop it in the sink on my way to the door. After doing just that I caught up with the unicorn-human woman who was standing with the front door open but storm door closed. Her eyes were wide but pupils small in shock.

Spread out before here was Montana in early December, and about two feet of snow across the forested, hilly landscape. My farm was pretty much in the middle of nowhere between Idaho Falls and Butte, few miles away from a tiny little town called Dilon, Montana, where my house and land were nestled in quite comfortably off the highway, near the base of Tweedy Mountain. Of course none of that mattered to Rarity.

"W-where are we?" She stammered.

"Montana." I said again. "That's my land out there, my farm, we're pretty much in the middle of nowhere but I get by. You said earlier that you had a friend who could maybe help fix all of this and get you back?"

"Twilight Sparkle." She responded at length, still staring out at the wintry landscape. "She's one my closest friends and is very adept at magic."

"Well, hate to say it, but she's probably your best hope for getting home. I don't know the first thing about magic and I'm sure no one else on this world does. Least not about the kind of magic you seem to have." I observed following the simple logic of her problem.

"Is there some way you can get a hold of her?" I asked.

"I-I don't think so…there are spells to send her a letter but…I don't know them…plus I don't know if it would even work from another world." She said her tone telling me she was clearly still fully taking in her situation. But a moment later a strange glowing shape flared at her forehead, her hand flew up dramatically and my loveseat – now with a glowing blue aura surrounding it – danced neatly from my living room and into the kitchen where it landed just in time for Rarity to fall backwards onto it.

"_WHYYYY-HA-HA-HYYYYY_ Did this have to happen to _me_?!" She cried. At least I think she was crying, it was hard to tell when one had to cut through the weapons grade drama to see what was _really_ going on.

"All I wanted to do was help my little sister so I could finish that dress and the commission…_OH_ the commission from it was going to help me for _months_ but now, _now_ that's going to fall by the way side! It won't get done on time! My reputation will be Ruined! _Ruined_!" She wailed.

"Wait, wait, wait! So you're stuck in an unknown world, were allegedly a unicorn but transformed into a human somehow, can clearly still use your magic to rearrange my house, know a friend who may be able to get you back home if we can contact her, and you're concerned more about your _commission?_" I asked with raised eyebrows.

She looked at me like no one had dared interrupt one of her tirades – I think it's a safe assumption that she has done that before – then smiled quite sheepishly while bouncing her fingers together, still lying on the loveseat. It occurred to me that she was lost in a world where she didn't know anyone, anywhere, or anything for that matter and was probably going to be stuck here until whatever magic brought her here could be used to bring her back to wherever she was from. Now I'm a gentleman, it's the way my father raised me. I wasn't about to let the poor girl suffer through the Montana winter in search of her home but if I was going to let her stay here, ground rules had to be made.

"Well, when you put it _that_ way..." She trailed off.

"Look." I crossed my arms, "I've been told I'm a decent man, and I won't throw you out in the cold in a place your not familiar with. Especially since that place isn't near any other place that's safe. I'm open minded. I can even accept the fact that you can hold me to the ceiling and summon my couch with magic – probably the weirdest things I've ever seen by the way – so since you seem to need a place to crash until your friend can get you back to Equestorialand—"

"Equestria." She corrected quietly.

"Right, point is you can stay here long as you need to _if_ you can cut the drama in half, and put my couch back." I finished.

Rarity stood quickly and just as gracefully as it had come, my couch moved itself from the kitchen back to the living room with that same blue glow.

"Oh, I don't know…I couldn't possibly impose." Rarity fiddled with her dress while looking down.

"I've got plenty of space, you can take the spare room – third door on the left – just don't use that magic of whatever you do on me, its creepy." In spite of the couch and holding me to the ceiling earlier, she seemed more and more harmless the more I got to know her. Call me stupid for letting pretty much a stranger stay in my home but…I don't know…there was just something about it. Something made me feel that I needed to keep her safe. Call it an enlarged sense of gentlemanliness stemming from the loss of my wife years ago if you want but when my gut tells me something, I listen. It's never wronged me before. She was brought to me for a reason, and I was going to figure out why.

"There's even a sewing machine in there so you can make yourself some clothes…assuming you know how." I mentioned as I walked to the fridge to get a drink, I needed caffeine desperately if I was going to keep up with today.

"Oh I don't know whatever I will do I'm only a lowly seamstress by trade!" I could feel the sarcasm, "But thank you, your offer is very generous and since I have nowhere else to—"

The air above Rarity distorted for a moment, fizzled with sparks and then with an audible _pop_ a beige, rolled up piece of paper appeared above Rarity's head and bopped her on the nose as it fell.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Apparently I get cross-dimensional long distance

"EEE!" Rarity squealed.

"AHH!" I yelled.

"No, no, no! I'm squealing in excitement!" She explained as the scroll was caught mid-air with air with her magic. "Look!"

Blue aura and all the letter was pressed against my face. The parchment appeared to be from another time or place, and the writing looked like it was done in a hurry and sloppily. Quick angled lines made up the language which looked surprisingly like English.

"Rarity please be alive if you are respond to this message asap." I read the letter out loud.

"Don't you see what this means?!" Rarity asked and shouted as the letter was tore away from my face.

"That you're alive?" My sense of humor answered.

"NO, you fool! It means that they can contact me but I have no way to answer back! I don't know the spell to be able to send a letter across whatever rift in time or space I came through to be able to communicate with my friends and Family! I'll have to get letter after letter from my friends and family until they finally stop sending them because they'll think I'm dead! Don't you see?! This is the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!" As she spoke her eyes became more intense, more focused, and at the end of it all her arms popped out in a flourish of movement above her.

Then the air distorted, fizzled, and another scroll popped into existence. Though this time Rarity caught it with her hand as it fell and tore it open, holding a blank piece of parchment in one hand and a phial with some sort of green sparkling substance in the other. I wondered off hand if I should invest in a Geiger counter before Rarity squealed again.

"Ow." I commented, rubbing one of my ears.

"Spike sent me a blank scroll and a phial of dragon fire – I'll be able to write my family!" She did a little jump for joy then asked, "Quickly, do you have a quill handy?"

I stared at her for a moment slightly dumbfounded. I knew enough about history to know what a quill was and what it was used for, but the fact that she was asking for it was slightly off putting. I opened my mouth to say something and closed it again a few times before turning on my heel, walking to the kitchen, pulling a ball point pen from the junk drawer, walking back to Rarity and holding out to earn the same incredulous look that I assume I had given her just moments before.

"What is this?" She asked, clearly annoyed I hadn't gone and found an eagle whose feather I would pluck.

"It's a pen, you write with it." I said simply, "Pointy end down."

"Thank you, but I think I know which end goes down even if it doesn't have a feather." She quipped and hastily wrote something down on the sheet before rolling it up, and turning her attention to the phial full of what was clearly radioactive material.

"Dragon fire, if this works I swear I'm going to kiss spike when I get back to Ponyville." Rarity uncorked the phial and poured the apparent fire onto the parchment, which jumped for her hand while burning into nothing. Then, in the reverse way that the letters had appeared the ash from the paper swirled about a moment before disappearing with an audible _pop_ like when the letters had appeared.

"What just happened?" I asked, trying to make sense of what I was watching.

"Baby Dragon fire can be used to send messages long distances, no one is really sure why but the Princess utilizes it heavily to supplement her own abilities for communication." Rarity said, leaving me more confused than when I started.

"But I – with the – I mean – what?" I managed to stumble out when there was a fizzle and pop and another letter fell into Rarity's awaiting hands.

"Oh good." She sighed in relief as she read the letter, "They are glad I'm alive, me being here was a complete mistake."

"Glad we got _that_ sorted out." I said and Rarity gave me a look as if lasers were going to come out of her eyes.

"Anyways, Twilight is already working to get me back but she needs to know where exactly I am." Rarity said and turned the sheet of parchment over holding it and the pen with her magical blue aura so she could write, apparently.

"And where is that again? Mone-tawn-ahh?" She asked.

"18 Mountain Point way, Dillon, Montana, 59725, United States of America…um…Earth?" I rambled off everything I thought would help as the magically gasped pen flew across the parchment for longer than the words that I said.

"What'cha writing?" I asked taking a casual step forward to peer at the parchment.

"I'm just relaying my situation and the stallion named Ash who is graciously letting me stay with him until this is figured out, with any luck I'll be out of your hair before sundown." She said.

That would be something to cap off this weird day. Have a woman appear in my shower and disappear the same day by magic. I wondered if somehow my memory would be harmed in the ordeal. Heck, maybe I was actually taking that Nap I was going for right now and would wake up sometime soon to discover my bed was covered in dirt and melted ice from working outside. But I wasn't… I knew I wasn't. I could feel the beat of my heart I could see Rarity's reactions and smell her perfume. No, I was defiantly, undeniably, unfortunately awake. I was also very aware of the fact that Rarity had sent a letter, and received one with a larger bottle of dragon flames – she had used the last of hers – while I was staring off into space. The difference was that this letter appeared to have had a seal of some sort on it.

Rarity meanwhile had looked confused at the bottle of dragon flames then opened and read the letter that was sent. As her eyes flicked left and right I watched her expression soften, then drop completely. Her eyes began to water and her lip quivered enough for her hand to rise up and cover her mouth. I didn't know this woman very well, and I don't want to make assumptions about anything but…there seems to be a large difference between melodrama and things that actually matter to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked and Rarity simply handed the letter to me, telling me she couldn't finish reading it and covered her face with her hands the bottle of dragon fire glowing softly in her lap.

"Dear Rarity." I said out loud, looking at the young woman and when she didn't respond one way or the other, I kept reading.

"It seems there has been a complication in getting you back to Equestria because it seems you are no longer in Equestria or even our world. Twlight is trying her best to research a type of portal or teleportation spell that will bring you home but in the mean time you should probably find a place you can stay. I don't know how long it will take Twilight to complete her research and find a solution, it could be tomorrow, and it could be a few weeks. Spike, your friends, your family, and I will work to keep her from driving herself crazy while she works. Your sister feels very, very bad, and has been told it is not her fault, but I think she would rather hear it from her own sister.

"Please take care of yourself, Rarity, we will keep in touch as our research progresses. I will also personally contact the one who you said you are staying with to ensure you are safe and cared for.

"Hoping to see you again soon,

"Princess Celestia."

At the exact moment I finished reading there was another fizzle and pop above my head and a scroll bearing the same seal as Rarity's letter bounced off my head and fell to the floor. I ignored it for now, I had an idea of what it said but my eyes were still focused on the woman in front of me. Her eyes watered a bit as she stared at the ground trying to reign in what she was feeling, she was wringing her hands between her knees as her breath came in short, erratic bursts.

Now, I'm not what you could call a sensitive man. I'm a farmer, by trade, I raise cattle to be impregnated, birthed, milked, and sometimes shipped off to a butcher when I needed meat. I do what needs done and I'm not afraid to say what needs to be said. But my father raised me to always be respectful of women and if a woman was in distress or needed help with something, to drop everything and help her. So while I didn't know what to say if my life depended on it I at least knew what to do in this sort of situation.

I awkwardly patted her on the back.

Suddenly, Rarity was clinging to the front of my shirt and bawling into it as I blinked, then carefully wrapped my arms about her shoulders. Well this was something I'd never encountered this quickly with a woman – usually it took three or four dates before I could manage a hug like that. But then, I suppose I'd be all shook up if I appeared in someone's shower and not even an hour later was informed that I was stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time too. After a few minutes she began to calm down, at least enough so that she stepped away from me a few paces to compose herself. Drying her eyes and re-foofing the curls in her hair before she locked eyes with me again.

"So…the spare bedroom then?" She asked dejectedly and I nodded once before turning on my heel and waking back down the hallway with Rarity in tow.

Now, I'll be honest. The spare room was the one room in the house that I never went in since…well since three years ago happened. I could count the number of times on one hand that I had been in that room since the accident. No, I won't tell you exactly how many times, I'm not a weirdo that keeps track of that sort of thing but I know it hasn't been many and there's a good reason for that.

My house has three bedrooms in total, counting the master, and two baths. Since the accident there was one room that I visited every day, the room that used to belong to my daughter. I would dust, make sure things were arranged just as they should be for a growing girl and then leave after sitting there and taking it all in for a few minutes. And no, that isn't weird. But the spare bedroom…ugh…the spare bedroom. I opened the door – which squeaked a bit from lack of use – and found that everything was still setup exactly as it had been the last time I dared look. There was the spare bed for guests off in the corner under the window, light red curtains that matched the flowery bedspread hung from above. My wife picked those out. Off in the corner opposite the bed was her creative station complete with a Singer sewing machine, digital edition with a keyboard built in for automatic pattern selection. It had been a wedding gift. Farther down the long creative desk were several shelves and small drawers full of beading and stamps and other random tools for scrapbooking or other creative endeavors. My wife loved her creative time – usually she took it after lunch and chores when I was taking a nap.

"Here we are." I said as something tightened around my heart. "Umm…there's a feather duster in the hall closet, second shelf, if you need it I…I don't come in here much."

With that I took a few steps away so she could look beyond the threshold – that's my story and I'm sticking to it – and after a moment's study the closet door glowed a light blue, and the aforementioned feather duster flew to Rarity's side where it hovered by her shoulder. I also was able to make the observation that the glowing aura on her forehead had a shape inside of it that spiraled inwards, becoming larger from its point until it connected with her skin. It almost looked like the negative impression of a horn. Huh, how 'bouts that.

"I assume there's a reason why it looks like no one has used this room for several decades, yes?" She piqued an eyebrow.

An awkward silence set in for a few moments.

"Yeah…" I replied lamely and after another moment of silence Rarity huffed.

"Well, thank you all the same." She said. "I know this situation I'm in isn't ideal for either of us and usually I'm the one on the giving side so sometimes it can be hard for me to accept gifts and—"

"Don't worry about it – and feel free to rearrange if you want, or use the sewing machine or whatever, just – yeah – make yourself at home. I have a letter to read." I said stiffly as the tightness in my chest continued and walked briskly past her. The poor thing looked confused when I passed her but I heard the door shut a moment later so I suppose she didn't take offence.

Back in the living room I picked up the letter addressed to me, undid the seal and unraveled the parchment.

_Dear Sir,_

_You do not know me, my name is Princess Celestia. I am one of two rulers and goddesses that reside in the kingdom of Equestria. Yes, goddess. It seems that one of my subjects, Rarity, has by no fault of her own ended up in your world and care for the time being._

_I ask that you please take care of our Rarity, she is very special to many ponies in our land and we would like her back in the same healthy condition in which she left. We very much appreciate your generosity in this matter, sir, more than you know._

_Sincerely,_

_Princess Celestia of the Royal Kingdom of Equestria._

_P.S. Bear in mind that if you harm her in any way, I don't care who or what you are, I will find you and teleport you to the center of the Sun where we will have a nice little picnic made of FIRE._

_PAFF!_

I blinked several times as the letter suddenly engulfed itself in flames and disappeared in a puff of smoke, illustrating the point.

"Huh, well that's nice." I thought out loud and went into the kitchen to wash the soot off my face.

_A.N: I forgot to update this when I updated it on Fimfiction. Sorry bout that. Here we go._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Meat, and other things that frighten Ponies

I stood there in my quaint little kitchen watching the snow fall outside. The local weather said that it would be coming but it would just be another dusting or two over the night. Nothing major, and nothing that warranted having to go outside before sundown, score one for the winter logged famer. The cows were already in the barn and the heater was on to keep them from freezing to death. Usually during the winter I would send all the animals I had left south for the season but not this year. After burying two of your own money can be tight and being the only one out here, it hadn't gotten much better, though it hadn't gotten worse either. Point is I couldn't afford to send them down south.

The downside to that situation was what I was watching move slowly towards my property out in the snowy landscape. From the forest there were two large grey wolves – scouts for the main pack most likely – creeping through the snow towards the barbed wire fence nearest the barn. I finished a glass of water then walked quickly from the kitchen to the master closet and moved the pile of clothes away from my gun safe. Dialing in the combination it opened with a loud metallic clunk, and I grabbed my shotgun and a few shells. Sure the wolves were out of range but I was shooting deer slugs without a rifled barrel so that made it ok…sense the sarcasm. It was more about the noise anyways. Donning my slippers as I walked I went out the front door onto the wrap around patio and looked out towards the last place I saw the wolves, following the disturbance in the perfect, snowy landscape to where they were.

Switching off the safety I chambered a shell, setting the others on the railing, and looked down the sights aiming just in front of them before pulling the trigger. There was a brief flash, roar, and the butt kicked against my shoulder. Ugh, forgot ear protection, stupid tinnitus. Regardless of the state of my hearing however – and in spite of the fact that I missed terribly – the noise did the job. I watched as the two wolves bounded back towards the forested parts of the mountain until they disappeared into the trees.

Good I didn't have to waste more ammo, that stuff is expensive. Clearing my weapon I made it safe once more, gathered my shells and walked back into the house.

"What in the name of sweet Celestia was that?!" Rarity exclaimed, she was standing with her head poking out of the spare room door, with a frying pan above her, held aloft by her bluish magic.

"A gun, there were wolves headed towards the barn. Where'd you get the pan?" I asked.

"None of your business! I wasn't the one conjuring thunder on the deck!" She pointed an accusatory finger at me.

"It wasn't thunder." I explained, "It was my shotgun, it uses a tiny but powerful explosion to hurl a projectile at high speeds. Think of it as a long range hole maker."

"Regardless of its purpose it sounds like a brutish sort of device, I don't want it near me!" Rarity demanded and I laughed.

"My house, remember?"

"Then I don't want it in this room! This is a no long range hole making device area!" She yelled and ducked back in the guest room, slamming the door.

I continued to chuckle as I walked past the door and stored the ammo and weapon back in the safe, then went back out into the hallway, stopping just in front of the guest room.

"Dinner at five – and I need that skillet back to cook with, if you don't mind." I announced and the door opened just enough for the glowing blue pan to float into my outstretched hand before it closed again. Then there was a muffled 'you're welcome.'

As I walked to the kitchen to put the pan away I thought about what I would actually make to feed us both. With it being apparent that she would be here for a while – thank you for that clarification, Princess Celestia, whoever you are – My mind shifted gears to what she might eat. Or what ponies might eat. Assuming she was one at some point. However, she is human now and humans cannot eat hay since it does tragic things to our digestive tracts. But ponies can. Ergo, ponies turned human can…I don't even know where I was going with that anymore, so I fell back to something that seemed to be a universal food. Something completely American. Something classic. I would make hamburgers for dinner.

I'm also somewhat of a redneck and like beef, so sue me.

It was about an hour to five so if I was going to make it on time I supposed I needed to get started soon, if not now. But then some of my favorite TV shows would be starting soon, not that I usually had time to watch but it was winter so…DVR happens. Ideally I would grill the burgers on the patio – the snow storm could shove it – but it was cold. I don't like being cold. Plus, I have a gas stove. So getting everything out and prepped on the counter I went to work mixing the spices into the meat with a hand. Some people use mixers or wooden spoons but I like to get to know my food a little more than that.

"Mister Merediem?" A voice came from the hallway.

"Asher is fine." I said as I continued to mix the beef around with my fingers, pressing and mixing. Rarity meanwhile came around the corner from the hall and into the kitchen.

"You mentioned earlier that I could use the sewing machine but umm...I had a couple of questions." She said looking at me, bouncing her fingers in front of her face nervously.

"Shoot." I said, only glancing up at her.

"Well, I believe you mentioned earlier that clothes are well… what your people do apparently…but I wanted to double check that it is perfectly normal to wear clothes all the time?" She asked and I nodded the affirmative.

"Okay then, well you also mentioned I could use the sewing machine that is in my – err – _the_ spare room I'm staying in – temporarily – but there seems to be something left there from the last time it was used which doesn't appear to have been any time recently so—"

"Just take it off the machine or whatever you need to do." I all but snapped at her, making the poor woman jump.

"Sorry." I sighed. "I've a lot of – how can I put this – unresolved emotions from a few years ago I'll…"

I hesitated again, knowing I was repeating myself from earlier in the day but if it ain't broke.

"I'll tell you about it sometime just not right now. Promise. Do whatever you need to do to get the sewing machine working. If you want to make your own clothes there are some fashion magazines in the second drawer down that I never cleared out. Few years old but—"

"I think I'll manage." Rarity interrupted, a sharp look reflecting in her eyes. Suppose I deserved that.

"Right." I said lamely.

"So with that settled, is it okay if I ask Spike to send me some fabric with which to work?" She asked and again, I nodded before withdrawing my now greasy hand from the bowl and turned it upside down, dropping the meat onto the counter top with a soft slap as it landed. Rarity stared at the lump of well seasoned meat for a moment, paling visibly as her eyes widened.

"_W-w-what_ is that?! Is that…was that…is that…was that a-a Pony?!" She squeaked.

"What? No." I said quickly, "No, no, don't worry we humans don't eat equine animals – mostly – this is ground beef seasoned with some basil, salt, pepper and so forth. It was a cow once was all."

Rarity paled further and began to turn a grayish shade of green before covering her mouth and sprinting down the hallway.

"Second door!" I shouted and a moment or two later the home was filled with the tragic sounds of a person vomiting into the toilet. But I could do something to help at least, so while she was conducting her business I grabbed a clean glass from the cupboard, filled it with cold water off the tap and went back to the bathroom as she was finishing.

"So, no meat then." I said as she gratefully took the glass, rinsing her mouth a few times but not drinking it.

"Are your people meat eaters?" She asked, fearing the answer.

"Yes and no. Humans are omnivores so we can eat pretty much anything. I have stuff enough in the fridge that I think I can cobble a salad together for you once your stomach has settled a bit." I mused, thinking of the winter stores I had in the kitchen. I could probably still make it out of the farm to the highway and thus to Wal-Mart if I took the big truck, but it would be sketchy.

"That…would be nice, but maybe in a little while." She said shakily.

I helped her to her feet and held onto her shoulder and waist, guiding her down the hall and onto the couch. Once I was sure she was okay I went back into the kitchen and wrapped my seasoned burger meat in saran wrap and foil before hucking the lump of meat into the freezer. Looked like I would be going on a diet while she was staying here which was just as well, I could stand to lose some weight. Besides, hearing and smelling what just happened in the bathroom was enough to sate my appetite for the immediate future so once the meat was safely in the freezer, and what few dishes were generated in the sink, I joined Rarity in the living room, sitting on the love seat opposite couch, then clicked on the TV.

"AHH!" Rarity recoiled from the couch and fell off the back of it and being the honest, sensitive man I am, I laughed my head off.

"Ex_use_ me. But I don't believe you have explained exactly what the moving picture wall is _before_ you scare me to death when I'm already not feeling well! Which is also your fault!" She said scathingly. Her eyes were narrowed and practically shooting lasers through my skull but all I could think about was that my ego enjoyed the TV being described as wall-like.

"Sorry." I chuckled, "I take it Television isn't really common where you're from?"

"I don't even know what a Television is." She huffed and plopped back down on the couch.

"Short version, pictures recorded somewhere else get beamed through the air to my picture wall, and depending on the channel I'm on, there could be a lot of things to watch." I explained.

She stared at the large LED screen for a moment which at the time was showing a puppy running in circles until it made itself dizzy and fell from the deck onto the grass. AFV to the rescue.

"What is the purpose of it?" She asked.

"To entertain, or waste time." I answered honestly.

She glared at the screen a moment longer before retaking her seat and continuing to watch the program progress, and as she did, she began to relax more to the point where she even let out a giggle once in a while.

"So, clothes." I stated and her blue eyes flicked over to me.

"Yes, I have a wonderful supply of fabric in my boutique back home and I'll have Spike send me a few to work with. Your own people dress more for utility than for raw fashion it seems." She squinted as she studied the people on the screen.

"Not sure how well that sewing machine works, it hasn't been used since…well it hasn't been used in a while. If you need it there's an upkeep kit with some oil and such in the hall closet." I remarked.

"Again, thank you for everything you're doing for me." Rarity gushed.

"No worries." I said.

"No, I mean it. I know how hard it can be to take somepony in that you don't know."

Somepony?

"In my home well…I'm special you could say. I'm one of the wielders of six extremely powerful magical items called the Elements of Harmony and well…my element is Generosity." She continued to explain, "I've always been one to give as much as I can since I have been blessed with so much and to be in a position where it's reversed…well I know it's only been a few hours but it has been tough on me."

Somepony?

"Weird language aside, it's no problem, really. I've been living here for three years by myself so it's kind of nice to have some company." I sympathized and she smiled genuinely at me.

I couldn't quite place it, but there was something about that smile of hers, something familiar. It was a smile that I've seen before because I recognized the same tugging sensation at my heartstrings that I know I'd felt before…somewhere. I wish I could remember where but that was all I had at the moment so smiling back I turned back to the TV, and switched it to Animal Planet, forgetting what this woman claims she used to be.

The subsequent roaring lion made Rarity scream and fall off the back of the couch again, and again I laughed before turning it off and going to help her get up. If nothing else, it was going to be an interesting winter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Routines and a shopping trip**

Four weeks had passed since Rarity came into my life with a Zot and in that time we settled into a routine within the home. I would get up early as needed – which was usually o'dark thirty – get the chores that needed done finished and come back inside where Rarity would usually have a lunch or snack made for me. She learned to tolerate the fact that I ate meat but wouldn't try it herself, and refused to cook with it which I understood. She also had made several outfits for herself with the old sewing machine and a single bolt of white cotton cloth that was sent to her. She would have had more sent but it turned out that a lot of dragon fire was needed to send something that big and Spike was running on empty because of all the letters friends and family were sending Rarity and the amount of fire Rarity needed to send responses back. At least that was how her friend Twilight had explained it. So once another large jar of the green glowing fire was sent it was explained that the jar would be it for a while.

The only real hitch that was had was the passing of Christmas, which confused Rarity with her own land's holiday of Hearth's Warming Day. Or something. I got her a couple bolts of different colors of fabric online though and while they would not arrive for a week or two, she appreciated the gesture. I supposed that was what counted, she had already made another white dress a skirt and a blouse out of the little fabric she had been sent and with the help of some colorful thread, looked quite stylish. She had also at some point found and made use of my wife's old hair styling tools and brushes – I'm still not sure how I feel about that but a woman needs to do her hair or so she claims – I'm not about to argue with it. The mantra of 'happy wife happy life' applies to all female relationships, no matter how platonic and if you remember this you will be a happy man.

However, there was an obvious downside to suddenly having two people in my home that was beginning to make itself known and that was money. Or the lack thereof. I had originally saved and budgeted to be able to get myself and my livestock through the winter and into spring, same with my own food stores so I wouldn't have to brave the frozen back roads in order to get to a supermarket for supplies. But with two humans in the house, the food was being consumed twice as fast and it wasn't long before shelves were beginning to be emptied, containers bared, and I knew that if we were to get by we would need to run to the store.

So I was presented with two choices, I could go to the store on my own and leave the feeding of the cattle to Rarity – unlikely that would end well, call it a hunch – or I could do my usual morning chores, pound down an energy drink and take her with me in the early afternoon. Which was where we now found ourselves as I trudged through the snow and ice to my F350 and started it up, and walked back inside.

"Are you sure it is safe to travel in that erm…what did you call it?" Rarity asked immediately.

"Truck." I replied, tossing one of my wife's old red puffy coats to wear for the trip, it was a little big for her but it would do, much to her chagrin.

"I don't know…" she mused, "it sounds rather noisy and rattle-ie to be safe for anything."

To be fair, it was an old school truck that I had owned for twelve years and it was five years old before I bought it. It was also a diesel.

"It's safe." I assured her, though I don't think she believed me since she complained and muttered to herself the whole thirty five feet from the front door to the truck. I also had to help her into ti not only because of its height from the ground but because she had apparently never gotten into an automobile before. Making sure all wheel drive was engaged, I put it into drive and away we went down the snowy, bumpy, frozen landscape towards the highway and were Rarity not sitting right next to me I could swear that each of the squeaks I heard when we went over a lump of ice were coming from the truck.

Fortunately it was only a ten minute drive to get off my property and down what was a dirt road in the summer, onto the onramp that served the local farmers and head north into Dillon. Oddly she seemed calmer once we reached highway speeds on the road that was mostly clear but guarded by ice and snow on either side. By that point ye'olde heater had also kicked into full gear and the cabin of my working man's truck was finally an acceptable temperature.

"So I take it they don't have cars or trucks where you're from then?" I asked, making conversation as we drove. It was a half hour to Dillon and I didn't want to just sit there the whole time.

"The closest machine Ponies possess that can go this speed is the Friendship Express, which is a steam locomotive." She said and I glanced at the speedometer.

"Your trains can go seventy five miles an hour?" I asked.

"WE'RE GONG HOW FAST?!" Rarity screeched clung to the arm rest on one side, and the seat on the other.

"It's okay." I chuckled, then tried a more soothing, less mocking tone, attempting to steer the conversation back to things she was more comfortable with.

"I'm in complete control, I promise. Besides we'll be there before you know it, highway fifteen goes right through town. So no cars huh? How to you ponies get anywhere do you just walk or jog…erm…I mean trot?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, except for the Pegasus ponies who simply fly long distances the average pony can travel twenty or thirty miles in a day at an average gait. Though Unicorns are the hardest pressed by such long travel since we're not exactly the most athletic of sub-species of pony. Of course I'm best guessing on the distances, I've never actually measured." She mused.

"Fair enough, I guess a car would be redundant if you could travel ten times what the average human could in a day." I remaked.

"Buh?! But walking doesn't seem that difficult, neither does running." Her eyebrows rose as she spoke.

"Well that's true, but over long distances it'll wear you down. There are people out there who can run for a long time and even do it for a living, but on average not so much." I said as I changed lanes to pass a slower moving Semi-Truck, which Rarity stared at for a moment before turning back to me.

"Right then, so where exactly are we going again?" She blinked once more at the long hauler.

"Wal-Mart. It's like a village square with everything under the sun available to buy, but indoors where it's warm." I said and changed lanes again.

"Do they have fabric there?" She asked.

"Eeyup." I answered lazily and earned a somewhat shocked expression from the indigo haired woman.

"What?" I asked when her expression didn't change for a minute or so and she blinked several times and shook her head.

"Nothing, it's just that…no, it's nothing. I've merely observed that farmers apparently speak the same across different dimensions is all. My friend Twilight will find that fact fascinating, I'm sure." She sighed and sat back in the seat.

I shrugged and continued to guide us north until the exit for Dillon came around and took us off the highway and down the Wal-Mart that was conveniently right next to the end of the road the served as the on and off ramp, into the parking lot and eventually and empty space near the front of the store.

"Alright." I said before shutting off the engine. "Just so you know the color of your hair is…well…exotic. And by that I mean no one really has that color of hair because purple hair isn't a natural color for humans."

"What? What colors are natural then?" She seemed surprised.

"Blonde, Black, shades of Brown and Red. That's pretty much it."

"How droll." She observed and I shrugged.

"Well you don't have to worry, I happen to know a spell to change my hair color, though it will only work for an hour." She said and before I could say anything to the contrary, her not-there-horn lit up on her forehead and glowed bright blue. Then, like so many LEDs without wires little sparkles of light flowed over her hair and each strand turned a shade of black as they worked. Within the process of a few moments the spell was done and Rarity's hair was now a nice shade of jet black.

"Okay…also humans can't do magic." I glanced around "I don't think anyone saw us, so just try to not use it while we are out in public, kay?"

"Eh heh…sorry. I will try." She promised and I shut off the engine.

Once in the store I grabbed two shopping carts, rolling one to Rarity while explaining that yes I did need to buy that many things at once. Apparently she flabbergasted her that we had to push things around in carts rather than just carry bags slung about our hips, but she got over it. In fact she got over it so fast that by the time we had left the produce section she was beginning to complain about how long it was taking to choose individual items and put them in the cart only to have to pay for the darn things after the fact. I was successfully able to tune out the tone of her voice but the fact that she was whining incessantly was something that was grating on my nerves by the time we had left the general food section and moved onto the clothes department.

Where she then began to critique and whine about the lack of, and I quote:

"Anything mildly creative or possessing a hint of fashion sense"

But once we got to the small section where there were fabrics available she was suddenly quiet. I had allowed her several tens of dollars to buy some more fabric with which she could make clothes for her stay here on Earth. I watched as her true passion in life seemed to come out as her blue eyes narrowed, picking apart each small bolt of cloth as if it were so many microbes under a scientist's microscope. Her scrutiny of the different types of cloth was only matched by her complete focus on the task at hand. She would pull a bolt of cloth slightly from the rack, feel it, peer at it, feel it a different direction, turn it over, feel it again, peer at it some more ,then put it back. This process was repeated several times over the course of about half an hour until she got back to the beginning of the rack – having circled both sides of it – and then picked two whole bolts to purchase to the tune of seventy five dollars. Ouch.

"Really?" I asked," for that much we could get you five different outfits off the rack."

"Really?" she shot back, "Because last I looked the stitching was poorly done, the materials sub-par, and the fashion sensibilities are severely lacking."

"And last I checked it's still my money." I sighed, exasperated, but at least my comment had quieted her incessant talking. For now.

"I'm sorry…I'll just…" She stuttered, avoiding eye contact.

"Look, if you want the two bolts I can afford them but that is still a lot of money for someone like me. So if you want them. Make your case. I'll give you thirty seconds."I said and looked at my watch, waiting for the second hand to come back to home.

"Go." I said.

"What? What in Equestria is this about?!" She whined.

"Twenty five." I warned.

"EEK! Erm…" Her eyes narrowed and a small smile formed on her lips making me wonder if I should be afraid.

"If you want to know how this might be a better deal it is because sure we could buy five outfits for the same price but at the quality of those clothes they would be worn out within two months whereas if I make it myself It will be good for longer than your lifetime I'm sure and we still have no idea how much longer I'm staying with you and I don't think you want to make another run to the store whenthecheapstuffwearsout!" She finished with about half a second left. Impressive, most people just freeze up when I do my timed litmus for things outside of the budget.

"Okay." I said with a smile.

"What what? Just like that?...Really?" Rarity blinked, not quite believing me.

"Sure, you convinced me. Also that's the last of what we need so we can check out and head home – gotta check on that pregnant cow of mine, she's about ready to burst." I thought out loud.

"Do you think that might be why those wolves are harassing your barn? Like the sense easy prey is right around the corner?" She asked, surprising me by taking my own thoughts out of my head.

"It's possible, that or their just hungry and looking for an easy meal." I mused as we both pushed our shopping carts towards the front of the store.

"Know a thing or two about being easy prey?" I asked.

"HAH!" She laughed, "We ponies may look defenseless – in my normal form anyways – but I promise you that we Unicorns are hardly defenseless."

She grinned and tapped her forehead where I assume a horn would normally be. It was close enough to where that light always started when she used her magic at any rate. I watched her for a moment as we walked and she glanced away at some of the poorly made clothes on a rack. She really was pretty in a make-up -ie sort of way, with her pale but evenly toned skin, bright blue eyes and that perfectly styled, exotic indigo hair with sparkles.

Wait, what?

"Rarity. Rarity!" I hissed, trying to be discreet, "Your hair, I think the spell is wearing—"

"Mommy lookit her hair! It's Sparkles!" A little girl's voice shouted, carrying surprisingly well in the open cavern that was Wal-Mart, and bringing an instant silence to the area around where we stood with our carts.

Well, crap. So much for being discreet, and I swear Rarity muttered 'Horseapples.

A/N: Not my strongest chapter, but it is a setup one so that happens.

As always, I self edit, please point out obvious typos I may have missed while editing, and as always, hoped you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

"Jenny! Don't stare at people, it's rude. Now tell the raver chick you're sorry." The Mother scolded her.

I snorted.

"Sorry miss!" The small girl said earnestly.

"Umm, that's okay?" Rarity ended in a question.

"I must ask though, where do you get your hair dye? It looks so natural and I've tried everything with my hair but it simply won't look like I want it to." The Mother asked.

"Well I don't—"

"Here! She gets her dye here." I interrupted, smiling unconvincingly.

"Really? Then what brand?" The Mother pressed.

"Brand?" Rarity blinked.

"Lorele." I answered quickly, spotting something of that brand in the other woman's cart.

"Oh…well…thanks for the advice?" She said to me or Rarity before pushing her cart off. I let out a sigh of relief.

"What was that about?" Rarity questioned eyes boring into me.

"Um, well I don't think that you should – how to put it – help people in this world like you do in yours. We humans are kind of…well we're crazy." I grinned honestly but her glare only intensified.

"So, you're saying that I can't be who I really am." She said as a statement rather than a question.

"What? No I'm not saying that." I sighed, frustrated that she was taking things the wrong way. Not that I'm the smoothest conversationalist in the world.

"Asher, I'm a lady. I'm quite more intelligent than you give me credit for _and_ I think I have more knowledge about fashionibility and practicality in my little hoof-finger-whatever it is than you have in your whole body." She snapped.

Great. A little spat would certainly take this shopping trip to the next level of hell that I was missing all my life. But as I was about to say something to the contrary right there in the middle of the store we were interrupted by my neighbor. My great big holy Moses he is a redneck how is it possible this man can even move or speak neighbor. But he was also the man that bought all that acreage from me all those years ago and on top of that he is a genuinely nice man. Just…well…

"YEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWW ASH! Wach'a doin' here?" He called from across the store, and I think that explains the rest.

"Bill!" I called back, feigning joy, "Thought you were holed up for the winter."

He laughed jovially – I swear I can hear that out the thirty some acres between our back yards during the summer – and gave me a manly thwack on the back as joined Rarity and I. He knows I hate that. Like most who were out and about he wore large winter clothes, including a furry cap that covered his bald head.

"Yes well, unexpected things and such. You know how it goes." He answered, stroking his chin in thought.

"Yes, I do." I eyed Rarity.

Unlike myself, Bill was a fourth generation farmer and had lived on his land much longer than I had mine. Never the less when I…well…my wife and I had bought my current house he was a huge help in getting us setup with the equipment we needed and helping us survive that first winter.

"What _IS_ that on your head?" Rarity exclaimed. Right, she was still here.

"Speaking of the unexpected." I segued my way into it, wrapping an arm around Rarity's shoulders and hoping she would play along.

"My cousin whom I haven't seen since I was a child came to visit for a while as a vacation of sorts." I said and gave the indigo haired woman a poignant look.

"Err – yes. Yes! That's right! I'm on a long sabbatical from my normal line of work – apparently – and thought it might be nice to get out into the countryside and escape the overbearing stress of city life." She said and I felt both impressed and scared that she could lie so easily to a perfect stranger.

"Oh? Where's that accent you have from then…have ya spent time in England?" Bill asked and Rarity glanced to me to see my eyes nod in the affirmative, which was how she answered.

"HAH! I knew it!" He laughed loudly and slapped his own leg, "had a second or third cousin from there, forget what his name is. Eh, not important. So what'cha doing here again, Asher?"

"Having two people in the house threw off my supply plan for the winter." I said, "And she needs fabric to make some more clothes since her own were…lost by baggage claim."

"You make your own clothes?" The round man asked Rarity.

"Yes, where I'm from I am a fashionista, and designer." She said and Bill laughed again, for some reason.

"How about that, a regular ol' Tyra banks right here in Dillon. Lord knows _I_ need the help." He laughed loudly again and with each increasing decibel I felt more and more….stabby.

"Who is Tyra Banks?" Rarity questioned.

"I dunno, wife likes her TV program though – I think she's into fashion or models or something – pretty thing but her show seems kind of pointless." Bill mused.

"In that case I shall repeat my query from a moment ago, what is that monstrosity on your head supposed to be, a hat or a bad mane – hair – piece? And goodness your clothes are just…well just leave it at 'just' and I'll ask: do you need help shopping?" Rarity caught herself talking in what I had dubbed 'Equestrian' but I didn't think Bill noticed.

"I haven't had a mane since I was a teenager, young lady, but if you're offering to help me pick out some clothes I'm in need of new ones, and the wife gave me a budget." Oh no. Please lord above no. I could see where this was going and—

"Of _COURSE_ I'll help you! The clothing here is sub-standard but for your line of work we should be able to find something that will work. Come with me!" Starry eyed, Rarity took the Bill's hand and led him into the men's section, leaving the shopping cart she was pushing – mostly full of perishable foods – abandoned just in front of me.

"Fifteen minutes and I'm leaving you here!" I called after Rarity and grumpily pushed both the carts by running the one I had into the back of the other, which worked for about five feet until the cart formally piloted by Rarity veered off course and into clothing rack full of overly 'fabulous' skirts. I thought that appropriate.

Eventually I was able to finagle both carts to a line in front of a cash register and began unloading my load onto the conveyer belt. Now, the men's section was just a ways behind where the register was which gave me a good view of Bill and Rarity's excellent adventure as she attempted to find something that, from the sounds of it, was fabulous but functional for the old man. Best of luck, girlfriend. I turned my attention back to the cashier who looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was, but was doing a good job in spite of the fact.

"W-w-what?! Oh no! No, no, no, noooo!" I heard from across the store and glanced at the cashier, who from the full carts had guessed that I could go retrieve my woman and come back and he still wouldn't be half done ringing it all through. He gave me a small nod and I ran back towards the clothing section.

Once I arrived at the dressing rooms area I found Rarity fainted on the waiting bench, Bill (holding an uncountable number of shirts), and a standard Montana redneck in winter garb. Ripped puffy coat, flannel shirt, torn jeans and old work boots, this man even had a mullet and beard.

"The feck is wrong with her?" He asked, and my ears immediately got warm.

"She's umm…" I struggled to think of a way to explain it and settled with a half truth, "She's part of the fashion scene where she's from."

"Little dramatic fer these parts don't ya think?" The man asked.

"Yeah…a little." I admitted and the man shrugged and walked off.

Bill laughed again and I swear I felt my eye twitch. What was a normal shopping trip was quickly devolving into something that would probably end with the neighbors never letting me hear the end of it, and I was going to do everything in my power to prevent that from happening.

"_THE HORROR!_" Rarity cried as she quickly was brought to her feet. "The absolute horror of it all!"

"He was just dressed different, you know." I observed.

"_What?!_ Different does not necessarily mean better mister Merediem, and you should know since your average wardrobe boarders between utilitarian and unwearable!" She shouted, getting the attention of the clothing section in general.

"Rarity, we have things at the checkout, we need to go." I pleaded as other customers stared on.

"But I can't let this continue, Ash, I can't let these crimes against fashion go unchecked!" she countered.

"Really?" I asked, deadpanned.

"_Yes!_ You should have seen it! The clashing colors, the holes in the jacket and pants, the mane…"

Rarity grabbed the front of my shirt and cried, "He was wearing _FLANNEL!_"

"Rarity—"

"Of all the horrible fabrics in all the world, it was flannel. It had to be flannel!" She carried on.

"Rarity—"

"No, Ash! You don't understand, this isn't something we can let go! That poor man is running about the world dressed in that…that…that _rubbish!_ It's a crime against fashion!" She whined.

"Rarity, there's lots of people that dress funny 'round here, you've been here a few weeks, you should know this by now." I sighed, exasperated.

"But…but…_Flannel!_" She complained.

"Look, I know it's a far cry from what you're used to but can you _please_ keep it together for a few more minutes until we get to the car. I promise once we get home you can tell me all about how the big bad flannel was going eat your soul." I said in a scolding tone and Rarity huffed, her eyes shooting invisible magical lasers through me as they narrowed but at least she was being quiet.

"Ash." Bill said and dropped the pile of shirts where he stood with a soft thud, "I'll call you later, need to talk to you about property lines."

"What? What's wrong with the property lines?" I blinked.

"Nothing, I'm just curious if you'd like to buy some of the land back is all. Son's moving out and going to college so I won't have the manpower I used to." He explained.

"But I – you – the deed – I just—" I said through gritted teeth.

"Don't need an answer now, just food for thought." He laughed.

"Alright, see ya later." I sighed and took Rarity by the wrist, all but dragging her with me.

Ears still feeling a tad warm for my taste, Rarity and I made our way back to the check stand where the brave little employee had just finished running all our things through, paid, and loaded everything onto the truck. She was silent as I guided the large vehicle back onto the interstate and towards home but the expression on her face said more than any words ever could, making the silence in the cab of my truck palpable. But what I couldn't figure out was what the sam-hill she had to be upset about since she was the one that had decided to kidnap my neighbor, and start waltzing around Wal-Mart of all places having small conniption fits over bad fashion. If anything I saved her from a coronary.

But that apparently wasn't good enough. It wasn't fashionable to not stop people in the middle of their day to let them know that they are committing crimes against fashion. No sir. Apparently where she's from its normal to try to ruin the average Joe's day while attempting to drag them around the clothing department throwing clothes at them to try on. But in her eyes I apparently was the one in the wrong since she was giving me the silent treatment, not that I minded since she could talk incessantly. But the closer we got to home the thicker the atmosphere in the cab felt and as I pulled into the drive and stopped it felt as though I was waiting for a bomb to land near me and there was no good cover nearby.

"I cannot _believe_ you!" The indigo haired woman exclaimed.

Kaboom.


	7. Chapter 7

"Excuse me?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"There were at least two men at that market who were crying out to me for fashion help, and you let them – no – you pulled me away from my work. My _calling_!" She was yelling by the time she had finished speaking, her eyes narrowed and face flushed with anger.

"Sorry, but in this dimension it isn't really appropriate to randomly assault people's clothing choices unless you're employed by TLC." I shot back and the yelling continued as she followed me to the door.

"Sorry? You're _sorry?!_ Sorry isn't going to save those poor men, Asher! Being dressed as such could prevent them from experiencing or having access to things that—"

"We can argue about this as long as you want in a minute, Rares." I interrupted her, and used a nickname she had explicitly forbidden me to use weeks earlier, "But all this food needs to get put away before it goes bad so if you could help me do that first then we can argue until Spottie in the barn over there has her calf!"

With eyes like little slits, Rarity's 'horn' suddenly burst to life and as soon as the front door had been unlocked and opened, three hundred and forty five dollars worth of food, supplies, and other things zoomed past me and into the house. The next minute or so was filled with the sounds of zip-lock bags, cupboard doors, bedroom doors and the storage space in my attic being opened, closed, packed, stacked and any other adverbs that I can't think of right now, until she finally finished and the rather bright light on her forehead was put out, leaving a tiny trail of sweat from her hairline. I noted that her using magic at that level apparently took a great amount of effort from the user and filed it away for later, there were more important things to take care of right now.

"Fine then! Lets argue!" I threw my hands up.

"Fine! Meet you in the living room in five minutes!" She yelled back.

"Why Five minutes?!"

"Because I have to use the little filly's room!"

"Oh!"

We entered the home each trying to shove the other out of the way and Rarity made a dash to the bathroom while I plopped down on the couch. I couldn't for the life of my figure out why the woman I was giving free room and board and food to for a month now would be reacting this way to something so trivial. Though my anger I felt like there was something else going on here that she hadn't been telling me about, or something she was keeping inside instead of talking about. Either way it seemed it was coming out now, whatever it was.

A door slammed from down the hall and a moment later, Rarity appeared in the hall, facing me. Her eyes were still narrowed, face flushed, and hands on her hips. If we were a married couple I would be a dead man.

"You, sir, are a Liar." She accused.

"Umm…no?" I responded.

"Hah! Then I present to you exhibit 'A': you told me four weeks ago that you would get around to telling me whatever happened to the two young mares in that picture over there. All I know is that they were an important part of your life!" She accused.

"That's my own business!" I yelled back, "All you need to know then is that they were here with me and now they're not! I still barely feel like I know who you are, Rarity, so I'm not about to go into my personal life at your whim and you can't blame me for that!"

"Oh you're not going to share anything but it is perfectly acceptable to pry information out of me about my own life in Equestria?" She countered.

I had done that, point for her.

"I – that still doesn't give you the right to ask about damaged and unresolved feelings." I said shakily.

"So you'll at least admit that you _are_ hiding some sort of hurt that you don't want me to know about for whatever reason?" She pressed.

"YES! Just leave it be I'll tell you or I won't tell you! It's my decision!" I yelled back.

"Fine, I'll concede that but you can't escape Exhibit 'B'! I know for a fact that Celestia herself had sent you a letter imploring you to take care of me and so far you have done a bang up job of that!" She glowered.

"_What?_" I snapped, "I've cooked for you, cleaned with you, provided a roof to sleep under, I've even shot at wolves to keep them away from the farm!"'

"You would have done that anyways!" Rarity stomped her foot.

"That's beside the point! How in the name of all that is holy am I not taking care of you?!"

"You didn't let me help those poor misshapen mis-dressed uneducated stallions at the market!" She shouted back.

"Again, it's very rude in this world to do what you did." I repeated.

"But why? Even if it's rude my intentions were nothing but pure in my want to help those two men, one even _asked_for my help and yet you still stepped in. I called out another man for the way he was dressed and yes, I'll admit, fainted because of how horrible it was and you _still_ stepped in!" She whined, stomping a foot on the ground.

I stood up, putting my hands on my hips and hoping to make a point that she might actually understand.

"This isn't your world, Rarity! There are etiquettes and rules here that I bet are different than social rules in your world and you have to learn to live with that for the time being!" I Yelled.

With a huff, Rarity turned on her heel and waked from the living room, leaving me in silence for the first time in fifteen minutes. I took a few deep breaths to sate the burning anger in my chest at the sheer…elitism that Rarity displayed. Her attitude leaned heavily towards the 'my ideas are better than yours and thus you should bend to my will' but in a nice way. So nice that whoever she would be pouring these ideas at would probably not know what was even happening to them. But even so, there was an underlying desire to help people buried somewhere beneath the pomp and circumstance. Maybe I was being a little hard on her and maybe I owed her an apology, but she defiantly owed me one too. But it was at that exact moment Rarity appeared in the hall again, stomping the whole way with a scowl n her face.

"WHY I CAN'T BE MYSELF HERE!?" She all but screamed, and I'll admit, I blinked in surprise.

"I can't use magic as freely as I do back home! I can't make the ideas for dresses and garments that I have – do you know how many sketches I have right now?! And what little sewing I _can_ do is only for this malformed, misaligned, body instead of what a real dress should look like! And then today – _To-DAY!_ – you stopped me in the middle of my calling in life and helping that man get a better wardrobe! I simply cannot live like this!"

"Rarity I don't know what its like where you come from, but _again_, here on Earth it's not okay to just go around accosting the way people dress and forcing help on them!" I countered.

"Well it should be!" She screamed.

"Why?!" I cried, incredulous.

"I just – I'm not happy!" Tears were brimming in her eyes now, "How am I supposed to be happy if I can't be who I am?!"

At the end of her tantrum Rarity, still standing in the hall threw her little balled fists out hitting the wall on either side and in my mind's eye, I could see the small shock wave traveling as if in slow motion through the gypsum board to the picture of my wife and child on the far end, where the small movement was enough to make the frame jump neatly from its perch and tumble to the floor. The glass shattered as the corner of the frame gave way in the impact tearing the picture inside and leaving it crumpled and torn in the middle of a small pile of broken wood and glass.

Silence ruled the room as I tried to comprehend what just happened. Rarity stood there eyes wide in shock and darting between the picture and myself. In my heart I felt something snap that had been under tension for a very, very long time. Even before Rarity had appeared in my life. But it was also not something I could control at that moment and like most good men, in a moment of anger I said something that I would later regret.

"Get out." I said quietly.

"Umm…I'm sorry, Ash…maybe I can use Magic to—"

"GET! OUT!" I bellowed, and a short moment later the front door slammed shut.

Silence ruled the home as I stared at the shattered remains of my family, a torrent of emotions raged through my veins bringing me from anger to sorrow to fury to depression in the span of only a few moments. At length I stood and walked to where the torn picture lay on the tiled entryway floor. The stupid tiled entryway that I was going to rip up later in order to install bubble wrap in its place. From the wreckage on the floor I plucked the torn picture of my wife and child, staring at the face of my former companion, the top of her hair disappeared in the tear but she was otherwise unharmed. As was my child, but it was my wife whom I was staring at when the realization hit me. It was the picture of my wife that made my breath catch in my throat. The reason that I hadn't been getting along with Rarity was so blatantly obvious that I was an idiot for not seeing it and an even bigger idiot for ignoring the feelings that were brought up because of it.

Rarity smiled _exactly_ like my wife.

Oh lord, forgive this stupid, stupid man.

I had to make this right, I needed to make this right. Making it right was the right thing to do but I was an idiot – apparently – and was probably going to make making it right wrong by not making it right, and by making it wrong I was not making the right wrong or the original wrong right and thus made the wrong wrong…er….right?

Shaking my head I carefully folded the picture and shoved it into my pocket and strode to the door, wrenching it open.

Rarity stood in the middle of the of the snowy drive, halfway between the barn and the house but even from that distance I could see the tremble in her hands, the shortness of her breath and the pinpricks that were her eyes. She stood there in the drive and was nearly surrounded by no less than half a dozen grey wolves.

"Back you fiends!" She shouted, her magic flaring to life and throwing two of the wolves end over end out of my line of sight.

I used the distraction well as adrenaline snapped in my mind, causing me to move faster than I usually would, throwing the drawer of the key table open and grabbing the small 9mm pistol and two loaded magazines that were taped to the top of the drawer. As I ran in nothing but socks into the snow I threw one of the magazines into the grip and cambered a round before firing a few times into the air while yelling like a man gone mad, all the while running towards Rarity.

"What are you doing?!" She screamed.

"Helping!" I yelled over the tinnitus.

Her magic had been enough to scare off all but one of the pack, a large black wolf who still circled her, dodging her magic as she flung beam after beam of energy at him. His fur was somewhat matted and one of his ears, cropped from some sort of fight in the past. He snarled at us as he circled and in the distance I could see the pack half way to the tree line watching what was happening doing nothing to come back. Big black, meanwhile continued to circle us, darting forwards and back, looking for an opening to take one of us down on his own which wasn't normal wolf behavior. I had been harassed by this pack for a while, I knew most their habits and this was not it. But then, the white foam that I thought was snow at first wasn't normal either. The cut on his hindquarters that looked infected either from a sharp winter thicket or being winged by my shotgun wasn't a normal feature.

"Rarity, can you still use magic?" I asked in a calm tone in spite of the roiling worry in my gut.

"Yes, what do you need me to do?" She asked quickly.

"I think he's got rabi—" I never got to finish my sentence as Big Black snarled again and lunged at me, mouth open wide for the kill.

Instinctively I raised the pistol and fired but the shot went wide as his body collided with mine, turning my world into nothing but fangs, fur, and disorientation. Black and I rolled across the snow as his muzzle snapped at my throat. I had lost the pistol at some point during the struggle and I could hear Rarity screaming something at me but I couldn't understand what over the snarling and flailing paws. We rolled again as Black tried to get an angle at my head and I found my feet suddenly freed underneath him and kicked outward as hard as I could, sending Big Black flying a few feet away. He was quicker than me to regain his feet and lunge at me once more. With no weapon I raised my right arm just in time for it to be caught in the Big Black's jaw and it was as the force of his bite down to hear two snaps from my forearm.

If I was operating on adrenaline and fear before I was operating on the pure will to survive now and screaming in pain or fear – or both – I punched the side of Big Black's face with my left hand once, twice, three times before he let go of my arm, only to lunge for my neck to instead. I rolled quickly and he met with the heel of my boot, throwing him aside. As I rolled away from the wolf to regain my footing there was a bright flash of blue that blinded my vision, followed by a loud thud and a pitiful 'yipe!', and then all was quiet.

As I stood I snatched the black, pistol shaped object from the snow, holding it aloft with my left hand and walking to where Rarity had thrown Big Black against the barn. I noted that there was a large section of the corrugated metal wall that was bent inwards where the wolf had impacted the barn. My right forearm felt as though it had been on fire, but I dared not look down at it for fear of the shock wearing off and I didn't think I could afford to potentially lose consciousness just yet.

My pistol shook in my outstretched hand as neared the wolf, which was moving. Well, I should say it was twitching and attempting to stand. Rarity had really messed the beast up with that exertion of magic and as I felt the wolf wasn't about to harm me, I glanced back to find here kneeling in the snow breathing heavily. Turning back to Big Black I assessed his condition and determined by way of pulling diagnoses from my posterior that his back or neck was severely sprained by the ordeal, or broken. He locked eyes with me and I saw the hate and madness that rabies brings to animals, but I also saw the pain, the loss of control. I had lost a bull to it once, so it was without hesitation that I repositioned myself, and aimed squarely at the creature's head.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

The slide on the pistol kicked back and stayed there as I dropped it into the snow, turning away from the now still form of the wolf. I could hear the cows inside the barn pushing at the gates in fright but ignored it, they would calm down and couldn't break the pens. I was aware for some reason that it was very, very cold outside, namely my right forearm felt cold and warm at the same time, there was also the quick crunching of snow behind me.

"Oh dear me…" Rarity said in a higher voice than normal.

As I turned to face her I looked at my forearm for the first time and well, it was about as messed up as I thought it might be. While I was fortunate no bones were exposed the odd angle of the normally straight portion of my limb made the world tilt at an equally weird angle, and would you _look_ at all that blood that should be in me!

Rarity shouted something at me as I fell into the snow so I thought I'd shout something back.

"Mumba Whumba!"

Then the world went dark.


	8. Chapter 8

_I stood in the middle of massive blue nothing, if I were standing at all. I wasn't quite sure what was happening to be honest. What I did know that I was standing or laying in a massive nothing full of something. Something softish. I flexed my fingers to and fro discovering that the something I was laying on that may have been nothing was in fact something. If felt soft and bladey. Yes, bladey. Like it was soft but had sharp parts at the same time. Which would explain why it was grass._

_I reveled in the fact that I knew I was flat on my back on grass as my other senses came to me and realized that the massive blueness I was looking at was in fact the sky, filled with one or two puffy white clouds. My ears were filled with a loud metallic clacking sound for a moment causing me to sit up and find the source. Turns out the grass I was sitting on was part of a small meadow which was bordered on one end by a thick forest, and wall of smallish grey boulders on the other, some of which occasionally falling down the pile causing the noise I heard earlier. Flowers of every color appeared in patches mostly near the small babbling brook that cut through the meadow, disappearing into the forest and rocks respectively._

_Pushing myself to my feet I surveyed my surroundings once more, and decided to head towards the spot where the brook went into the forest, simply because it felt like the right thing to do. I was careful to not step on any of the flowers , in fact I was trying to be careful not to disturb anything in this place since it felt so…peaceful. Honeybees buzzed between flowers and trees, I discovered the brook had a few small, silvery fish in it once I got close enough. The clouds were white and puffy, not threatening rain or other inclement weather. Even the sun which shone high above in the sky merely warmed my face, not making it hot. It was as if everything here was perfect, everything was exactly as it should be in its own natural order. No deviation, no corruption, nothing out of place._

_And then there was me._

_Quite unexpectedly, I felt as though I was the only thing in this peaceful meadow that should not be there. I was human after all and humans were far from perfect and in spite of their best efforts managed to somehow corrupt whatever they came in contact with in some small way. My wife and child were killed by a drunk driver, call me cynical._

_Regardless, my own cynicism it didn't change the fact that I felt shouldn't be here, and it was with a quickened pace that I strode to the point where the forest and brook met only to find that the trees had grown so close together and the brush so thick, there was no way I would be able to pass through. It was as if the grass simply decided to be trees and became so, remaining as close together as they were when they were little green blades._

_I noticed the water in the brook managed to find passage through this thick forest through a small tunnel created by its presence and after edging to the waterline I began to lean over and have a peek. Perhaps this would provide a way out of here._

_"You don't want to go that way." A small feminine voice said and I jumped out of my skin. Fortunately, I landed back in it._

_Whipping around I beheld a small girl dressed in a shimmering white summer dress. Her golden brown hair fell messily about her big brown eyes, and a wide, charming smile that was too familiar. My eyes suddenly became allergic to all the flowers, my throat tightened but I smiled all the same as she giggled. I presume the sight of her father starting to cry was quite amusing to the child. My child._

_"Hi, Olivia." I said shakily._

_"Hi Daddy!" She squealed happily and jumped into my waiting arms._

_I held her then. I held and embraced my baby girl for the first time in what seemed like an eternity and my heart couldn't contain the joy. My eyes stung and blurred with tears but I dared not take my arms away from hugging my little girl and in that moment, that single solitary moment, I was happy._

_"I've missed you so much." I breathed and a moment later my brain began to kick it._

_"What…What are you doing here? Where am I?" I asked._

_Olivia simply smiled at me and held out a hand._

_"Walk with me." She said and without hesitation I took her hand and my daughter led me away from the dark tunnel of brush, along the brook._

_"So what have you been doing while I've been away? Do you still play with your friends?" She asked as we walked._

_"No, I haven't been playing with the neighbor friends since…since you left." I was chuckling when I started but frowning when I stopped._

_"What have you been doing?" I asked, hoping to change the subject away from what I was dealing with._

_But Olivia simply smiled at me with eyes that sparkled with wisdom that no normal 8 year old would have._

_"The woman you are staying with is very nice, you know, not at all like she's been acting lately." She said and I blinked in surprise._

_"Oh? And how do you know that?" I asked only to once again be met with a knowing smile, and my head began to hurt a little._

_But as I looked at my little girl she simply grinned as the world around me began to dissolve into little whirlpools of every color until…_

"Hold still, Asher! You need to drink this!" Rarity pleaded.

I was vaguely aware that I was in my room but it was hard to tell with all the shaking. Oh wait, that was me shaking. Why was I shaking so badly?

"Asher, please!" Rarity was crying now, I could tell because some of the wet tears landed on my face, but my vision refused to focus on what was going on around me.

"Oh, confound it!" She yelled in frustration and suddenly my entire vision had turned a light bluish hue, and the world became much less shaky and a small phial with a thick looking red liquid inside. All at once the phial was upended and forcibly inserted into my mouth.

I swallowed on reflex and whatever was in that phial burned on the way down my esophagus, coating it with whatever was in it. I coughed as Rarity's force field released me but the liquid continued its downward trajectory in spite of my body's best efforts to stop it. I locked eyes with Rarity and could see the fear and concern reflected in her eyes.

"Stay with me, Asher…everything will be okay." She said, not sounding too sure of herself.

Her light blues were rimmed with tears and as the world began to go dark again the last thing I could keep in focus were those worried, blue eyes.

_I was standing in the meadow again right next to the brook and Olivia, right where I had left off._

_"See? She's trying to save you." She said simply._

_"Save me from what?" I asked but once again Olivia simply smiled and took my hand again._

_"Walk with me." She said, and I did._

_She led me across the beautiful meadow then, away from the brook and more towards the wall of boulders some of which would still fall, filling the meadow with a now familiar metallic clacking noise. As we walked a pair of bluebirds flew into our view, chasing each other in a graceful, if somewhat romantic dance before flying out of sight again. It struck my strange that it was only just now that my wife entered my thoughts while I was here – wherever here was – walking with my deceased child._

_"Mommy is okay, you know. She's happy here. And me too!" Olivia said with a giggle, seeming to know what I was thinking._

_"What?" I blinked._

_"Mommy, she's happy!" Olivia repeated as we walked._

_Meanwhile my brain finally kicked into gear – again – and I stopped walking suddenly, with Olivia continuing onwards a few paces before turning to face me. I knew that wherever I was or whatever was going on with me was something that I was not privy too. It almost felt like I was getting a sneak peak of the afterlife but with the knowledge that I could not stay here, for now._

_"Sweetie…" I started but wondering if might be better that I say nothing. That I let the bliss continue with my own ignorance the prop that keeps it from falling._

_"Olivia, where are we? What is going on?" I asked._

_"We're here." She said simply, never faulting in her smile, "We are in Heaven, and your head at the same time, Daddy. You're here so that you know that Mommy and I are okay. We're happy, very, very happy."_

_I didn't know what to say to that. She had been so cryptic with everything up to this point that I didn't expect a direct answer. Of course, I'm me. I'm an extremely direct person to the point of rudeness at times so God, wherever he was, would certainly know that about me. If this were a little slice of heaven, which I thought it was. I had my daughter back after all._

_But then there was that feeling again, that sense that I didn't belong here. That I was a foreign invader who was only given a pass to visit._

_"I'm going to have to leave you again, aren't I?" I asked with a heavy heart._

_"It's only for a little while." Olivia said, "When you get back here some day it will be like you never left."_

_"I'm going to miss you." I sighed._

_"We miss you too." My daughter replied and ran the few steps it took to jump into my arms once more, "Remember, Mommy and I are happy, and be nice to that woman whose staying with you, she's really stressed out too."_

_All round me it seemed time had stopped. There was no sound coming from the birds or the falling rocks any more, the babbling brook seemed to be paused in mid stream as the running water still appeared to be doing such, but the ripples and bends in the water were still. Even the trees were paused in mid breeze, their leaves stuck in whatever position they were in when everything stopped. In my heart, I knew it was time. I had to go back to the real world._

"Asher."

_I heard the familiar voice then, it almost sounded like my wife whom had passed and I looked around for her, but she wasn't there._

"Asher."

_The voice was soft. Softer than a normal person would speak but it was familiar as well. I meant to ask Olivia if she heard it too but in this land that was suddenly motionless she was gone, save for a breeze against me that was steadily picking up steam._

"Asher."

_The breeze had turned into a roaring wind now, drowning out all the sound around me and as hard as I tried I knew I wouldn't be able to stand on my feet. As I tumbled over I noticed there wasn't even any ground to land on before…_

My eyes opened to the half light in my room, or rather, my ceiling. I knew it was my ceiling because in all the years I had lived on the farm I had come to memorize what the paint finish on the drywall looked like over my bed. Some things about me were still blurry until I had the sense enough to rub the sleep from my eyes, and it was only then that I noticed there were many different phials, beakers, and other assorted lab materials that had not been there when I woke up this morning. Last morning. The morning of the day after yesterday. What the heck time was it?

Glancing at the digital clock on my nightstand I found another beaker full of a red vicious liquid that seemed familiar and had to slide it aside to find out that it was 2:48 AM. Glancing around the room again I saw that Rarity's dragon fire vessel was on the far bookcase and almost empty save a tiny, bright green flame that was still slowly swirling about the glass. On the opposite dresser was a frying pan, but I could hardly comprehend why it would be there, so I let it go.

My chest hurt and felt bruised and my arm felt weird for lack of a better word and a glance down was all it took to see the heavy gauze bandaging around my forearm, probably more than was needed but it was doing the job, I couldn't see any blood so…eh. I blinked again and rolled to my left only to find something lumpy and warm in my way. Rolling in place I found that there was a woman beside me, laying on top of the blankets while I was underneath. She was asleep, her breath coming in slow, deep breaths. Her indigo hair was all askew with wavy strands that had fallen this way and that about her face.

"Asher…" She said in her sleep and it clicked that it was her that had woken me from the world of…wherever I was.

"Ra-re-roreh _uuurp._" I burped and covered my mouth, glad she was asleep.

"Rarity." I said successfully and her eyes shot open.

"Asher!" She squealed, "You're awake!"

Before I could answer I was enveloped by her arms as she hugged me tightly.

"Don't you ever, _ever_, do that to me again!" She commanded, never loosening the crushing pressure on my lungs.

"I'll try." I choked out and with a squeak, Rarity let go so I could breathe again. "Did you catch the name on the truck that ran over me?"

"Truck? No, it was a wolf, Asher." She said, deadpanned.

"That's the – never mind." I decided that with my sense of humor in tact I could proceed to other topics.

"What happened?" I asked as rolled off the bed and retrieved a glass of water from somewhere in the room before I could ask for one. Heck, I didn't even know I wanted a drink until the water hit my lips.

"Well, after you – ehm – took care – of the rabid wolf, you collapsed. I couldn't wake you, Asher and once I got you inside with a combination of carrying and my own magic you just wouldn't wake up and then you – you –" Rarity sat on the edge of the bed, her pale face creased with some sort of inner torment or pain. Good grief, how long was I unconscious?

"There was so much blood, I think maybe an artery was damaged or something and I couldn't stop the bleeding at first then you – you stopped breathing." Rarity said shakily, and I raised my eyebrows.

What was I supposed to say to that? Obviously I was breathing now – quick check, in, out, in, out, oxygen getting to blood, kay I'm good – and aside from my chest and my arm I felt relatively alright. All things considered. I looked up at Rarity to discover tears were coming from her delicate blue eyes.

"Oh, Rarity." I pulled her into another hug with my good arm, making sure her head didn't land on whatever was bruised on my chest as she continued talking.

"I didn't know what to do!" She cried, "I tried chest compressions as best I could, I don't know, your anatomy is so much different so I panicked and beat your chest with the frying pan."

Well that explains a couple things.

"You started breathing then thank Celestia but you had lost a lot of blood, your breathing was still erratic, so I sent letters for help and Twilight sent me back all of this with instructions for a healing salve and potion. Oh Asher you've been unconscious for two days." She was beginning to calm down now and sat back up.

"Sorry about the mess." She laughed a little and I strained to with her.

So it turned out that not only did I help save Rarity's life, but she saved mine as well. Funny how things like that work and in all honesty I didn't care about the mess. Saving lives is a messy business. But there was other things on my mind as well and at this point seeing my daughter in wherever I was – I'll just call it heaven for conveniences sake – seemed like a dream. A very lucid dream. One whose message of giving the indigo haired woman a chance stuck with me into the world of the living, and there was something that I needed to get off my chest. Correction, that I had promised her to get off my chest from the beginning.

It was time to tell her about my wife and child.

"Rarity." I started quietly, "There's something I've been promising to tell you about that I still haven't, and I promised I would, it's about my—"

_Gruooooooooooooooooooooorp!_

My stomach had growled in the middle of a fairly intense emotional moment and with nothing else to do I began to laugh, with Rarity joining in after a moment or two.

"How about I help you out to the dining room and make you some eggs, then you can tell me all about it." She smiled kindly.

"Sounds like a plan." I chuckled, and she helped me out of bed.


	9. Chapter 9

"Oof!" I breathed as I stumbled into a wall for the third time in the hallway, it wasn't as if it was a long hallway or anything but any time I tried to take a step my traitorous legs would try to go different directions. Of course being dizzy was a product blood loss and as far as I knew it could take a couple days to recoup from something like that. I think.

"I didn't lose _that _much blood did I?" I asked.

"Yes and no." She said evasively, I raised an eyebrow before she went on to explain what she meant. As it turned out while I was unconscious and apparently fighting death, Rarity's friend Twilight Sparkle had sent half her lab in an effort to help stabilize me. Part of that effort was the delivery – via Spike of course – of the vicious red potion that I saw on my nightstand and vaguely remembered from the whole ordeal. Things had gone in an escalation scenario until Twilight finally just sent whatever stores of the potion she had, which explained all the extra glass equipment around the house. Rarity paused in her almost consistent talking then as she helped me into one of the chairs at the table, and then got the eggs going before she continued speaking.

"The potion works in two ways: firstly it will help heal whatever injury is left in your arm – I did what I could with magic to heal the bone but healing spells are not my greatest strength, you see, and with healing magic you can do as much harm as you can good if it is done wrong – sorry. Tangent. Anyways, the main and second purpose of the potion is to work as an anti viral, using both alchemy and magic to combat the rabies virus that I'm certain is in your bodily systems." She said while slowly stirring eggs in the pan.

"Rabies exists in your world too, huh?" I asked, making the logical leap.

"Yes, you must take two table spoons of it until it is gone and it will cure you of the virus, but after that any healing that is left must be finished by your own body." She said in a stern, motherly fashion.

"Beats the shots. I've had to have those before when one of my livestock was infected and nicked me before we could…anyways the shots hurt a lot. You're sure about this potion?" I asked.

"Positive." She responded, and the surety in her voice was enough to reassure me that it would work, though I'd probably still ask Twilight or Celestia myself later on. It was my health after all but if the same virus with the same name existed in a world where they spoke our language and had many of the same – yet different – customs, it would be good enough for me.

An awkward silence set in then as Rarity continued to prepare the eggs and I say there feeling like a lump. An injured lump, but a lump none the less. I was a farmer, I had always been self reliant for just about everything I needed out of life and if it was something that I didn't have well then gosh darn it, I probably didn't need it. However, I was also avoiding the subject that I just told her I would tell her about, simply out of habit. Though Rarity was acting as though she were patient, she kept stealing glances at me when she thought I wasn't looking. I had made her wait this long so I didn't think I should make her wait any longer. I glanced at the place where the picture once hung on the wall, noticing that the mess and glass had been cleaned up at some point. I looked to Rarity for confirmation that the photo within was safe and she reassured me it was, telling me that she had put it in the drawer of my nightstand for safekeeping, and I breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't the only picture I had of my departed family but it was definitely my favorite.

"So I guess I've got a story to tell." I stated the obvious.

"If you're ready, darling." She said, and I began to tell her everything.

Sometime later we sat on the couch, an empty plate with a fork sat to one side of me with nary a particulate of egg left on it, and Rarity on the other. I had just finished telling her about how my wife and daughter had gone out for groceries and were hit hard by a drunk driver, in broad daylight. I told her about how I had driven to the scene of the accident and arrived just in time to find out from paramedics that my wife, and my daughter were gone. In the days and weeks that followed I had the pleasure of arranging two funerals essentially on my own – the parent's on either side were no help – and put into the ground the two most important people in my life. That had been in my life.

I didn't tell her that by some measure of karma the man who had drunkenly killed my world died on the way to the hospital. Though even years later that knowledge didn't make me feel better, thought it would for some reason.

Surprisingly I didn't cry during any of the story. It wasn't that I didn't feel anything for my long lost beloved ones I just…I felt as though I was numb. As if I had already mourned their assign to the point that I had been okay with it for a long time, but had not allowed myself to accept that I was okay with it. In fact, I don't think I ever allowed myself to be alright with the fact that I could move on with my life and because of that, I had stagnated. Choosing instead to remain in a limbo sort of life where I never had to accept the fact that my family was gone but still had to live each day without them. The revelation that occurred in my head had caused me to stop speaking in mid-sentence somewhere back there, as a glance to Rarity confirmed the look of anticipation of whatever I was supposed to be saying next. Not that I knew what that was.

"I are derp." I said at length.

"Excuse me?" Rarity tilted her head, not understanding.

"I'm stupid, Rarity. A stupid, stupid man." I explained, and she blinked at me.

"Okay, let me explain. I've been keeping a metric-crap-ton of feelings inside that I haven't needed to for many hard years, I've scorned pretty much any women that's made an advance at me because of that, I've yelled at you because of that, and yelled at you even more because you smile just like me wife used to. So yeah, I'm not a very smart man, Rarity." I elaborated, perhaps more than I needed, but at least I was letting it out.

It then clicked in my head in yet another moment of astonishing derptitude that in the while she had been staying with me Rarity had told me much about her sister Sweetie Belle, and that her sister was about the same age as Olivia had been. Maybe that was something I could relate to her with since up until recently she had been taking care of her sister as much as if not more than her parents had been.

"I…I smile like your wife?" Rarity asked breathlessly.

"Well, not exactly like Emy did but, yeah, it's pretty close." I admitted and Rarity sighed.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry. I'll try not to smile as much, this must have been hard on you these past few months." She fretted.

"Don't worry, it's not like you're a bundle of joy all the time. " I quipped.

"Har har." She responded while giving me a look.

Another awkward silence set in as I pondered what to say next.

"Look, I'm sorry I've been acting the way I've been acting lately, like I said you were bringing up memories and stuff and well, I'm sorry." I said sincerely and quickly added, "And thank you for saving my life."

"It was nothing, Ash." She blushed, though I couldn't understand why at that moment.

It was nice to know that after months of being here we had finally gotten to the point where I felt like I could talk to and at least get along with this woman. All it took was a rabid wolf getting a piece of my arm. No sweat, right? But it was then that I also felt the undeniable urge to hug the woman. I couldn't explain it. Heck, looking back now I still can't, but if I had to attribute it to something I suppose I would say that I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards the young woman who to this point had mostly just complained and while I realize that isn't completely true, it's how I feel.

"Alright." She said commandingly, "I'm going to take care of those dishes just after I use the little filly's room, so I want you to go lie back down if you think you can make it there."

I essentially ran an internal diagnostic of myself by rocking back and forth a few times on the cushion before deciding that food had helped the dizziness enough that I could make it to back to my room, and nodded to her.

Left alone then with my thoughts – if only for a few moments – I pushed myself to my feet with a grunt and walked slowly back towards bed. I felt more energized having had some food, but still quite weak. Thug Rarity said the potion could make me feel that way as a side effect. Maybe I should send that letter to Celestia or Twilight or whomever while Rarity was in the bathroom so I could actually put my thoughts down without a censor. Okay, that's mean, but true. Fortunately I got to my room without much trouble, only swaying a little bit and sat down heavily on the bed. I surveyed my surroundings again taking note of the beakers and phials strewn about my room, and the frying pan on the far dresser. I smiled and in my head, lovingly dubbed the kitchenware 'Rarity's Awesome Defense and Apparatus for Life Saving, or RADALS for short.

I chuckled at my own joke and double checked that the holder of dragon fire was still across the room – it was – and glanced around for some paper. Again, fortune was on my side was there appeared to be a blank piece of parchment on the end of the bed that I must have not noticed before. But parchment it was, and if I was going to be sending a letter across dimensions I may as well use the medium that was recommended by the original sender. But upon snatching the note from the comforter, I noticed there was writing on one side of it.

Now normally I'm not the type to read someone else's mail. But normally the letter isn't from another dimension. And normally I don't notice my name on the paper. And…oh heck with it I'm that guy. So turning it over I began to read.

_Rarity,_

_I'm glad your friend Asher is doing better, please don't forget to tell him how the potion is supposed to be taken as it is imperative it be done correctly. I can only assume that rabies is as serious on his world as it is on ours. Also remember that you should only use the healing spell on the bones once or they won't heal correctly._

_On a more serious note you might recall how I mentioned sending half my potion lab to you would delay your returning home and I thought now may be a better time to elaborate on that now that since Asher's life is no longer in danger. I've done the math, and it turns out the reason we can only send you limited supplies before Spike has to 'recharge' his flame supply is because we are sending letters to you across five different magical leylines that happen to cross both our worlds and interact both at the point where Sweetie Belle accidentally sent you, and your friend's bathroom._

"Huh." I said aloud.

_When Spike sends a letter or parcel by fire, the letter continues to draw on his own magical (in this case, fire) reserves until it arrives at its destination. Letters to you at the moment have to cross through all five leylines to get to the dimension you're in which is the equivalent of sending a letter to myself, but making it circle our planet five times before it got back to me_/\ _

The writing abruptly stopped with a scratch mark and continued in a different script.

_Short and sweet version, what Twilight means is that sending anything to you is like trying to send a message in a bottle through an ocean of apple molasses._

The writing then changed back to what was apparently, Twilight's hand writing. Hoof writing?….Script.

_Anyways, to keep it 'short and sweet' as Applejack suggests, I've been able to calculate a way to open a portal that will bring you home, but because the portal has to cross such a long distance I have to be able to send you a powerful sort of homing beacon to make sure we just bring you, and not Asher's bathroom, house, or planet, back with you by mistake. The problem is the beacon I've designed and built is quite large and because of that, is going to be difficult to send. We were ready to send it before Asher got sick, so please try not to blame him, these things happen._

_Rarity, because we had to save Asher's life we sent you so many parcels that Spike almost passed out by the time we sent the last potion. I want to bring you home, Rarity, but we also need to make sure we can do it safely for everyone involved. Unfortunately, that means we won't be able to send you the homing beacon for sixty more days to allow Spike time enough to recover._

_In fact, he's taking a sabbatical from all mail duties for the following two months just to make sure he has enough fire built up to help get you home, so if you are running low on stored fire to send letters to us with, I suggest you make it last._

_Please understand we are doing the best we can and if we discover an alternate way that get's you home sooner we'll let you know!_

_All our love._

_Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle._

I sat there while my mind processed what I had just read, and while I wanted to make it complicated what had transpired was incredibly simple, and incredibly selfless. Rarity had given up an opportunity to get home in order to save me and I suddenly felt very, very small.

"Asher, there aren't any more towels in the linen closet do you have any extra somewhere else in the hou—" Rarity stopped short, her blue eyes flicking between my own and the letter in my hand.

"Eh-hem, I see you found that note that I…forgot…was there." She had a distinct hesitation to her tone, almost nervousness.

For my part I didn't even know what to say to her. What could I say to her? Look what she had given up for me. Me! Have you met me?! I'm a moron! A moron with a broken arm that _she _healed, a likely rabies infection that _she _is helping treat painlessly, eggs that _she _made for me, and a frying pan that _she _used to save my life.

It was done. I couldn't do it. There was no way I could keep my emotions in check. I was a farmer, a man's man. I wasn't good about talking about things that I feel on a given day especially more powerful emotions. So standing or stumbling from the bed I quickly crossed the space between us and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly. I may not have been able to say what I was feeling, but at least I could show it.

Happily for me, she reciprocated the gesture.


End file.
